Second sample paragraph (highlight)

 This is another way that social networking is harmful:

  Social networking is hazardous in the way that it can lead to cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying occurs when people post negative and cruel comments on others’ posts. These comments are often very severe because of the fact that the posters are online and not face-to face with the person they are bullying. Besides, the major characteristic of social networking is that things spread so quickly, whether it’s unreliable or not. If you think aboutthese two features of social networking, you will easily be able to come to a conclusion that social networking actually contributes to cyber-bullying. According to“Social Networking Makes Twits of Us All,” Maria Quinlan noted that anonymity entices people to bring their dark side out. In other words, people get easily motivated to write false information, cruel remarks,  or rumors that might affect someone’s reputation. To specify this, my friend, Jihyun, was cyber bullied on Facebook for what she hadn’t done. She couldn’t help but just look at those harsh comments. Because things got spread too quickly, she couldn’t make it stop or take an actual action on it. She stopped going to school for a couple of weeks because she got so upset by what the bully had said about her. Therefore, due to online harassment, social networking can be harmful. (214  words)  

 

Original sentence from the article: Anonymity also allows darker impulses to flourish.

 

1. What is the topic sentence? What is the controlling idea?

2. Find the general support.  Does it explain the controlling idea?

3. Find the specific support.  Is it believable?  Is it on topic?

4. What does the concluding sentence do?  Does it bring in any new ideas?

5. What types of words are used to make the paragraph more cohesive?

6. Does the paraphrase fit in with this paragraph?  Notice the sentence after the paraphrase. What does it do? 

7. Are all of the sentences on topic?